Round and Round

Have you ever been there....walking in circles, your life stuck in the same cycle....over and over and over and over?  I have too, and it isn't a fun place to be.  I may think my situation is unique, but it's not.  People have been walking in circles since the book of Numbers was written, which was....well, a long time ago.

In Numbers, the Israelites were in one of those cycles.  I'll give you the short version of their story.  They were in slavery.  Bad, right?  God rescued them.  And he didn't just open up the gates of freedom and say, "You're free to go!"  But he pulled out all the stops.  He turned water to blood, he sent frogs, gnats, flies...  He covered the slave-owners in boils and finally, he killed the first born sons of the people who were enslaving the Israelites.  God was sending the message that He's no joke.  Then, on their way out, he parted the Red Sea for his people to cross through.  I mean, come on people - God. parted. a. sea.  A sea!  He made the water move out of the way for you.  If that's not miraculous, I'm not sure what is.  If that doesn't make you believe in the power and majesty of God, then you've got no hope.  Right?  So after that amazing rescue what follows is an endless flow of praise and thanks for their God.  I wish.  That would be the appropriate response, but it's not the Israelites' response.  Actually, it was just the opposite.  Out of their mouths came an incessant flow of complaining and whining.  They complain about the food.  They complain about their leaders.  They complain about the promised land that God wants to give them.  As a result of their doubting, their mistrust, their lack of gratitude, they wander in the dessert.  For 40 years!!  40 years of wandering because they choose to give themselves to fear and cravings instead of giving themselves to God and trusting.  Just trusting.

Every time I read this story I get so mad at these dumb people.  "Why can't you open your eyes?!  God showed you how amazing He is over and over!  He poured out his extravagant love on you in the form of a magnificent rescue.  He even manifested himself in the form of a CLOUD that stayed with you...you could actually SEE him.  On top of that, he provided supernatural food for you each day.  What's your problem??"

Then...I feel a tap on the shoulder.  It's God, and he's pointing to the story...the part where the people are ungrateful.  The part where God has shown up two chapters before in miraculous ways and yet this chapter the people don't believe.  The part where the people are walking in circles because they aren't trusting Him.  He says, "See that?  Right now, that's your story too."  And it is.

God has rescued me so many times.  He has provided innumerable things for me and my family.  When someone asks me why I believe in God my answer is I believe because I've seen him work in my life, in my family's life.  I've seen his hand and I hear his voice.  Just like the Israelites.  Yet, just like those dumb Israelites I am often a silly girl who forgets and I find myself complaining, doubting, and therefore walking in circles.

I've decided I'm tired of circles.  Aren't you?  They're so pointless.  They're demoralizing and frustrating.  Mainly, they get us nowhere fast.  I don't want to go nowhere.  I want to go somewhere.  Don't you?

So what's our exit strategy?   I think it's found in the same story.  See, if you're going in circles in your life, like I feel like I sometimes am, we can recognize the story we're in and we can choose to exit that story and step into the one God has written for us.  That's the great news.  God had planned great things for his people the Israelites.  He had planned for them to enter this beautiful land full of God's abundance...but they wouldn't go.   They were afraid.  They chose to trust their past experience, their desire for comfort, their craving for the tasty foods of Egypt (the land they were enslaved in)...they trusted those things but not God.  But there was one.  Caleb.  He chose to trust God.  He decided that although the odds looked like they were stacked against them, that God overcame all of those odds.  He decided that if God had told them to "Go," then God would make a way.  He proclaimed that God being on their side was the only thing they should take into account when deciding whether to follow God or not.  And Caleb was right.  The proof is that he was the only one (the only ONE) who got enter the promised land.

So, today we get to choose.  What is God asking you to do?  Has he told you a direction to go in?   Maybe....apologize to someone who is unforgivable?   Quit your job with all its comforts and go in a different direction?  Step up and lead in a new and unfamiliar area?  Whatever it is, you have a choice.  You can choose to follow God into the promised land or continue to walk in circles in the dessert.  You can choose abundant life in God's hands or a keep doubting in the dessert and walk in circles in your strength.  Doesn't seem like a hard decision does it?

You only have to choose.  God will do the rest.  You don't have to have a plan of how you're going to follow him.  He's got that for you.  You just have to follow.  You have to let him guide your steps instead of letting fear take you in circles.

I don't know about you, but I will choose God.  I'm tired of the circles.  They stink.

23The steps of a man are established by the Lord,

when he delights in his way;

24 though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong,

for the Lord upholds his hand.

Psalm 37:23-24

Unplugged

Our family made the switch to online television a few years back.  It seemed like a great idea during a time when we needed to cut our bills as much as possible.  I think all of us (kids included) have enjoyed the switch...except when the Roku decides to quit working.  (For those of you not familiar with internet tv, a Roku is a device that allows the internet and your tv to talk so you see the picture on your tv.)  When it quits working usually the only thing that will fix it is to completely unplug it, wait a few minutes, and then plug it back up.  Then it works beautifully!

This is what I've been doing for the past 2+ weeks.  I've unplugged myself.  See, I was plugged into food.  Sounds weird, I know...but let me explain.  Maybe you can relate?  See food had me.  I may have gone to the grocery store and said  that I got some food, but the truth is that the food had gotten me.  It was like I couldn't resist as much as I might have wanted to.  (And honestly, sometimes I didn't even want to resist.)    I just thought it was a bad habit...nothing to be concerned about because most people I knew seemed to share the same opinion of food.  However God had a different idea.  He started letting me see that since food had me, that it was an idol.  It was taking the place of God in my life.  

I know!  I thought the same thing - that's ridiculous.  It's really not that serious.  It's just food.  The problem is...it wasn't just food.  It was my go-to.  It was my comfort when I was sad, tired, or angry.  It was my hope when I was bored or frustrated.  It was my god.  It was painful but God showed me this fact...slowly.  I don't think I could've or would've accepted the idea if he didn't gradually let me absorb this fact.  It just sounds ludicrous.  But one thing you can always count on with God is that he's always right.  Like it or not :-)  

So...he was right.  It was an idol.  Thankfully I say it was.  God showed me how to unplug myself...much like I have to do with our Roku when it stops working.  I unplugged and stopped eating my comfort foods cold turkey.  It was hard at first, but thanks to some support from my hubby who did this with me, it has been a huge success.  I'm still in the baby stages, because I've only been eating this way for 2.5 weeks, but there is hope.  God has given me the strength to do this when I KNOW I couldn't do it on my own strength.  The best part is that God has allowed me to see how much better things work when I follow his plan.  My body is much happier, and I'm finally starting to lose weight (although that wasn't my goal.)  

I'm writing about this and telling you my somewhat embarrassing confession to ask you what you've put in front of God.  Ask him if you don't know.  He'll tell you...and then he'll give you a plan and strength to carry out that plan.  He's pretty amazing you know.  He loves us and wants the best for us. He always has.  And always will.  

"...give us today our daily bread."

Embrace

Romans 8:31-39 

The Message (MSG)

^31-39 So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn’t hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn’t gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God’s chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ’s love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture:

They kill us in cold blood because they hate you.
We’re sitting ducks; they pick us off one by one.

None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I’m absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.

(taken from biblegateway.com)

Dear God, I love your truths.  The truths like this, that you can really grasp and hang onto for dear life when the going gets rough.  There's nothing that can come between me and you.  Nothing.  Even if my kids are the ones screaming at the grocery store, pulling things off the shelf, you won't disown me.  Even if I am late.  Again.  For the 100th time.  You won't take your love from me.  Even if the ones I care about most on this Earth throw hateful, tearing insults at me, you won't join in.  No, you'll be there for me, to pick me up...and wrap me in your arms...and whisper that you'll never leave me.  

It brings me to tears...this kind of love.  I love my children more than anyone except my husband and even with them sometimes I hesitate.  I hate to admit it, but I do.  When they've made me so mad I can't see straight, I hesitate when I have to tell them it's ok, that I forgive them...because I just want to wrap myself in my anger and stay there for some weird reason.  I hesitate to give them that hug they are asking me for when they are covered from head to toe in dirt and something that's blue and sticky...because I don't want to get dirty.  Yet, the sin that covered me was so much worse to you than dirt, and you didn't hesitate.  You embraced me...even in my condition.  You embraced me and gave your most precious possession to us.  

Keep this at the front of my mind always.  Remind me what I was covered in before your embrace.  Remind me what I could do for myself (nothing) before you.  Remind me what you did for me.  I am so humbled by you and your love...and your faithfulness...and your mercy.  Remind me of these things when pride is rising up inside me.  Remind me of these things when I think I've got much to busy of a day to spend any time with you.  (What in the world??!)  Remind me of these things when I feel I'm better than someone else.  (We were both your dirty, sticky, nasty kids before your embrace covered us.)  

I love you so much Lord, but I have so much to learn.  Teach me.  Thank you that you won't give up on me.  I ask you for these things in your son's name.  Amen.

More Than We Can Handle

You've heard it before, I know you have...especially if you live in the south.  It's one of those things people say to each other that's supposed to make you feel better.  It's said with good intentions, but it's not true.  In fact it's absolute crap.

I've heard it from friends, from random people in the grocery store when they see the packages overflowing from my cart and my three children in tow, and most recently I even heard it from my doctor.  "God doesn't give you more than you can handle."

It's just not true people.  Don't believe the hype.  If it was true, then man...I'd feel like an absolute failure more days than not.  At this point in time I'm finishing up a season in my life where I have three children at home with me (5, 3, and 5 mos), I work 31 hrs a week (at home....somehow), and I'm still responsible for the household business (meals, grocery shopping, bills, cleaning, laundry...you get the idea).  Add onto that the most recent development of getting our house ready to sell and trying to keep it spotless for house showings.  I don't know if you are superman/woman...but I am most definitely not.  And if, at any point in time I might have thought I was...this present season of life that I described above would have convinced me otherwise. The truth is it's more than I can handle most days.

Don't get me wrong...I live a very blessed life with an amazing, godly husband, three healthy children, and caring friends and family to do life with.  So, i'm not saying that I'm miserable.  However, most days things are DEFINITELY more than I could handle. It's just the facts.

Forget my life and look at examples in the Bible...
Moses - He was given the task of leading God's people out of slavery in Egypt.  He was the one who led the people through the Red Sea.  More than he could handle?  I'd guess yes.  In fact...we don't have to guess.  Re-read the story and you'll see that when God first tells him his assignment, he tells God that the assignment is too much for him.

Daniel - Remember the scary sleepover with the lions?  Yep, Daniel was the one who did that.  Or was he?  I'm pretty sure Daniel wasn't the muscles behind that miracle...and I'm also certain it was more than he could handle.  (If I think three hungry kids are too much...what about three hungry lions...yeahhhhh, I'll pass!)

David - He killed the giant with the rock.  Or did he?  Again, I'm guessing the situation was a little more than kid-version David could handle.  Maybe David isn't the one who deserves the credit...

We could go on and on with examples from the Bible, and probably examples from your life and mine...or people we know.  Enter Jesus.  Before Jesus we were under the law, meaning we had to keep all of God's laws and commandments in order to spend eternity in heaven and not in hell.  Too much to handle?  Ummm, yes!  No one....let me repeat that...no one could keep the law.  God knew that and he had compassion on us because of his great mercy and love.  God is a rescuer.  He always has been and always will be.  So he sent Jesus.  Fully man and fully god - the only who could fulfill the law and save us from a situation that was too much for us to handle.

In the message version of Matthew 19:26, Jesus says this to a man who thinks he's got the situation under control:

"Jesus looked hard at them and said, 'No chance at all if you think you can pull it off yourself.  Every chance in the world if you trust God to do it.'"

There you have it folks.  Jesus has laid to rest this cultural lie that claims 'God doesn't give you more than you can handle'.  It's simply not true.  We DO end up with more than we can handle.  Sometimes we do it to ourselves, but other times it happens regardless of what we do.  (Side note - I think people get this mixed up with the verse that says God won't tempt us beyond what we can bear, in 1 Cor 10:13)  But the best news is...
                         ready for it?.....

God can handle it.

He's got it.

No problem or circumstance is too much for him.

He wants us to come to him.  He wants us to ask for help.  He's telling me and you to quit trying to be superwoman or superman and instead ask him to rescue us in the midst of our situation that is too much to handle...and then watch for God to do his thing.  Because he will.  He always does.  Because he loves us.

Word.

It's been a while since I posted....and I decided that was ok :o)  I want this blog to be an outlet, not an item on a to-do list, and I seriously want it to be something God uses.  SO, I'm trying to be ok with my super sporadic posting, and hope you will too!

I've been thinking about this for a while, but it seems like today is the day God prompted me to write about it.  (That and the fact that I can actually think because my kids are in Mother's Morning Out for a few hours ;o)  The question that's been plaguing me is a question for those of us who call ourselves Christ-followers.  If you're not a Christ-follower, I'd love for you to keep reading...but this question doesn't apply to you.

Christ-followers are supposed to be just that, right?  People who follow Christ.  Who is Christ?  We'd probably all give a slightly different answer to that question, but think on this:

14 And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth John1:14

So...one answer to the question is that Christ was the Word.  Well, what is the Word??  The word is God's word...in other words the Bibles that most of us in this country have several copies of in our homes.  We may even have an app on our phone that holds multiple versions of the Bible.

We say we're Christ-followers, but Christ, or Jesus, is the Word...and from what I can tell we don't read the Word.  That means we don't know Jesus.  If we don't know Jesus...obviously we can't follow him very far, right?  What the heck??!

We will listen to our preacher, listen to Andy Stanley, Mark Driscoll, Perry Noble, Steven Furtick, Billy Graham...we'll even listen to some random person writing a blog, talking on tv, or posting on Facebook...before we'll open our Bibles.  I'm not saying these people are bad, in fact a lot of the preachers I mentioned above have some great revelations to share.  But - the fact is, they are NOT a substitute for the Word.  How many of them can put on their resume that they've been here since the beginning of time, that they are God, have always been with God, made the universe, and embody love itself?  Ummm...I'm guessing none of them have that rep.  (Not even that person on Facebook that seems to know everything and have THE perfect life.)

So the question is - WHY???  We have so many situations in our lives that we want advice for...we want to know what the right thing to do is...we want to know why everything is falling apart around us.  Yet, we don't go Jesus, we don't go to the Word, we don't crack open that Bible.  Let's save ourselves some time and heart ache and just realize the truth:  if you haven't opened the Bible then you're not following Christ...you cannot possibly know where Christ is going or where He wants you to go if you don't know where He's been, his character, and how he feels about you.  We learn all of this through the Bible, through Jesus...ever wondered why Hebrews 4:12 calls the Word of God "living and active?" Because it IS...it's Jesus.  It's a person...living and breathing...and who wants to be active in your life.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.2 He was in the beginning with God.3 All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made.4 In him was life,t and the life was the light of men.5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. John1:1-5

There's a promise in these verses above.  Did you catch it?  Here's the sequence:
Jesus (the Word) has always been
Jesus has always been with and a part of the God (this is that confusing, yet true fact that God is 3 in1)
Everything was made through God..through the Word
There is life in the Word
That life is a light that can be in us
If we allow that light in us, it will NOT be overcome...not even by the world.

There's not much you can count on in this world...in fact, there's nothing that we can be sure of.  Not government, not retirement, not even our friends and family because they could be gone tomorrow...BUT God and his Word will never be gone, and the light and life he promises will NEVER be overcome.  Pretty amazing.

Hold that up to advice from Facebook, that tv talk show host, that sermon you can listen to ...and see how it compares :o)  Fact is, it doesn't.  Do it today - open up the Bible, release yourself from any expectations you have about how it should be done (more on this in another post), and trust that God will do the work of showing you who He is because you are seeking him!  As you get to know Jesus, your life will change radically - and it'll be amazing.

the RIGHT way

I'm pretty good at coming up with the RIGHT way to do things...I mean, isn't it obvious to everyone that there is a right way and a wrong way?  For instance...

In the shower, do you have a routine?  I definitely do...because there is only one right way to take a shower.  (Didn't know if you knew that or not...but I'm giving you that tidbit for free)
Steps to CORRECTLY take a shower:

1. You should always shampoo your hair first, rinse, then put conditioner on your hair. 
2. Conditioner needs to sit for a little while, so you let it sit while you wash the rest of your body (except your back)
3. After washing, you can rinse out your conditioner...but that greasy conditioner is going to run down your back.
4. So...of course, you wash your back last to get the conditioner off of it.

And that, my friends, is how you correctly take a shower.  Man, don't you feel enlightened?

SADLY, I feel like this a lot...like I know exactly how things should be done and how they shouldn't.  Our culture says this is a great thing, especially if you're a woman...you know, Beyonce's "independent women" and all that jazz.  Turns out it's NOT a great thing - thinking you have all the answers.

I was reading in 1 Chronicles 13, and was shocked to see that in the early parts of David's reign as king, he got a man killed.  (Wasn't he supposed to be an awesome king?!?)  See, David got the idea to move the Ark of the Lord, and set about the task enthusiastically.  Unfortunately, in the process of carrying it, the ark looked a little shaky and a man named Uzzah tried to help out.  Uzzah thought he was doing the right thing - steadying the ark so it wouldn't fall or be hurt in any way.  Sadly that one move cost him his life.  So, you're probably asking how that's David's fault?  Well...David was the one in charge...he was the leader.  God put him in charge of the people, and when you're in charge (like it or not) people will usually do what you tell them to do and will act just like you act.  Before moving the ark, David talked to his officials and lots of other people, but he forgot to talk to God about it.  Since he didn't talk to God about it, he didn't give God the chance to tell him that there was a very specific way to move the Ark... that if these ways were neglected, lives could be at risk.

David learned though.  The next time he was going to do something big, he asked God about it first.  He was thinking of going into battle....but...he remembered his mistake last time, and did better this time.  He asked God whether this was something he should do or not.  God said he should do it, and gave him victory in the process.  In fact, most of the time after that, David remembered to consult God first.  (That's probably one of the greatest contributing factors to him being a great king.)

We get so puffed up on ourselves...and even get ticked when someone tells us the way we're doing something is wrong.  Truthfully, I know sometimes I don't want to ask God how to do it.  (...and in those times I'm being a stupid girl!)  God always wants us to talk to him about what we're doing.  He wants us to remember that we're human...that he's almighty, all-powerful God...that we can screw this thing up BIG time...but that he will graciously and lovingly guide us through the landmines of life.  I'm not talking of a prosperity gospel philosophy here - there will still be difficult times in life.  However, when you're doing things God's way, to say things go so much better is a pretty huge understatement.  The best thing about talking to him constantly is the relationship that develops between you and him.  You begin to know him, and realize how intimately he knows and loves you.

So, I'm challenging myself and you for the next 2 weeks to ask God....

....what to do with your day
....whether you should buy that new____ or not
....how you can bless someone today
....how to confront that person you're upset with
....what to do about the ever increasing problems in your marriage
...how you should vote (gasp!)
...what you should wear (really)
...what to do with your kids that are driving you nuts (God understands frustrating kids :)
and the list could go on and on....

Try it.  Take your decisions to God for the next 2 weeks.  Big or little issue...it doesn't matter.  Try it out and see how things change.  (Of course I'd love to hear your stories of what God does as a result!!)

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."  Phillipians 4:6

The return

It's the moment you've been waiting for....that moment when you see that I've returned to my blog writing to entertain and encourage you.  ............No?  Well, a girl can dream, right?  :)

Truthfully, it's actually the moment that I have been waiting for...for a while.  For about 4 weeks I've been MIA from the blogging world.  In fact I've been MIA from the real world too.  I found out I was pregnant with baby #3 in late April.  After I got over the shock of realizing I really was going to have another baby...then the pregnancy nausea set in.  Now, with the first two pregnancies, I had some nausea, but I now realize that was pansy nausea.  I'm not sure what's different about this child, but dang...something is.  (I'm trying to convince myself it has nothing to do with being the big 3-0 in this third pregnancy. Yikes!)  This nausea hit me like a wall when I woke up and was my constant buddy ALL....DAY...LONG.  And let me tell you I was one happy camper.  (you got that sarcasm, didn't you?)  Not only did I feel sick to my stomach, but I also felt like I had the flu (what the....??)  PLUS, (yes, there's more) I was starving all day long but my stomach didn't understand that.  Everything I tried to eat only lasted about 3 bites before my stomach realized I was trying to put something in it and quickly rejected it.  I was one miserable girl.  (Translation:  my poor family was miserable too.)

Now,  I realize that some of you have to endure so much worse during your pregnancy(s) and I am fully in support of petitioning the capitol to create a national holiday in honor of mothers that have to deal with this kind of insanity....wait.  Crud, I think there already is one of those.  Heck, we should have TWO days.  Anyone with me?

Seriously though, you're my heroes.

So in the 4 weeks that I've been gone, here's what I did:

• Went to the beach, felt sick most of the time, drank lots of Ginger Ale (can't look at Ginger Ale now)
• Came home, got worse
• Slept a lot...my kids watched a lot of tv
• Slept some more...my kids watched A LOT of tv
• Slept...(Well, you get the idea)
• In the midst of all this fun, Noah, my 2 yr old decided this would be a good time to potty train.  All I could do was laugh!  I was glad he found the motivation himself, but not so glad at his amazing timing.  (You know the only thing worse than feeling nauseous is feeling nauseous and having to clean out poop out of the little potty training potties.  Oh.  my.)  More to come on this later...
• Our neighbor mowed our grass (it was about 2 ft high - is that bad? :) because he figured our mower was broken.  In actuality, my sweet husband was working his tail off trying to stay afloat at work, while coming home to take care of me and the kids.  I love that man.  We were both grateful to our neighbor...even if it is somewhat embarrassing that your neighbor had to mow your grass.

But...I can say there was a rainbow at the end of this storm.  I came out of this with one nasty house...but my kids were alive and my husband still loved me.  My husband helped me resurrect the house this Saturday, and I can honestly say I feel so thankful for all that God gives.  In the midst of my complaining to God, or asking him for this or that...I too often forget to be thankful.  And oh, once you've lost a grateful attitude, it all goes down the crapper.  One of my sisters is going through a rough period with her health, and the other is WAY pregnant with no AC in the house she's staying at.  Even though they've had so much going on, they've called to see how I am.  Many of my friends that don't even know my sister with the health issues have sent food, prayers, and sweet emails.  If that's not enough to make you thankful, you might be dead.  So...I decided that although the past 4 weeks sucked, I'm thankful.  I'm thankful for the energy to write this, for a God who loves me no matter what I or my house looks like, for loving and understanding family and friends...and I could go on and on.  If we're honest with ourselves most of us should be able to go on and on (regardless of our circumstances)...if you can't, you may need to do a heart check.   

Thanks for being patient with me and my blogging - I'm returning to normalcy, (whatever that is) so you'll hear more soon...

'